


Can't Sleep Love

by Tweekbr0s



Category: The Littlest Pet Shop
Genre: Crushing, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Kinda, M/M, Very really gay, very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-06-29 08:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19826728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tweekbr0s/pseuds/Tweekbr0s
Summary: Vinnie and his best friend Sunil had been closer than normal best friends pretty much ever since they met, and Vinnie had always felt weirdly different to the other pets. It wasn't until Vinnie very suddenly became aware of how deeply in love with Sunil he was that he realized why he felt that way. He never struggled to keep the feelings bottled up inside of him, until Sunil asked him one simple question that would change everything...





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> OK i have NO idea what i'm doing but there isn't nearly enough content of this ship and i feel it is my duty to fix that. the title was obviously inspired by the song by Pentatonix which was ALSO inspired by one of @/amigobitsy's incredible edits of this ship <3 seriously go follow him on ig pls  
> might end up changing the title cuz it isn't sitting right but thats it for now

_What is wrong with me?_ Vinnie stressed, lying uncomfortably in his pet bed with his hand pressed up against his hot face. _I'm so in love with him. So helplessly in love... What is wrong with my head?_ He took his hand off of his blushing face and threw it onto the bed, staring with wide eyes at the ceiling.

_I'm in love with my best friend._

The realisation wasn't new to him; Vinnie had known he was in love with Sunil for months. Too many months to count now. The feelings happened so suddenly... Sunil laughed a little too hard at one of Vinnie's jokes, smiled a little too brightly... And it hit him, suddenly everything made sense. The special feelings he had for Sunil all along, his extreme love of all kinds of dancing, never having any real interest in girls... Hell, even the way he did normal everyday things differently, like the way he styled his hair, sent a few odd looks his way. He never thought of himself as straight, he never really thought about his sexuality in general, but a part of him always knew he wasn't like the rest of the pets. Sunil just helped him confirm that.

Tonight was just like any other night. Vinnie was overthinking his day at the day-camp, or more obviously, thinking about Sunil. _God_ , even the name sent his heart pounding. The feelings for Sunil had started out low-key, nothing that could keep him up every single night. Obviously, it's got to that point now where his crush on Sunil occupies his mind 99% of the time and he finds it hard to keep the feelings on the down low when he's around him. He prays silently every day that he does well enough that Sunil doesn't notice. He'd be destroyed if his and Sunil's friendship crumbled due to his stupid heart.

Today, though, was like any other day at the day-camp. Nothing majorly exciting had happened, no new campers and no dramas between the regulars. It was different for one certain pet, though.

Sunil had off days sometimes. Days where he just felt like everything was worth worrying about. Well, more than usual. Sunil had come in looking a little ruffled but he had greeted the other pets with his usual smile. It was during Vinnie's nap-time that it had been made obvious to him that Sunil had been acting a little off, more specifically when Sunil had crawled up to him and asked very quietly if he could lay with him. Vinnie obviously allowed him to do so, and he wrapped his arms around the mongoose and buried his face into his soft, blue chest fur. He felt a little selfish for enjoying it, but he knew that it was helping Sunil at the same time, so he pushed the feelings aside. Instead, he focused on Sunil's soft but rapid breathing, feeling his chest tremble a little as he breathed. Vinnie rubbed his hand shortly along Sunil's back; not so fast as to frighten him and not too slow, it was a perfect medium that he knew helped comfort him. He felt Sunil's nose press into his hair, and his body relaxed a little as Vinnie kept rubbing his back gently. It pained him to see Sunil like this, so quiet and shaky, but it was always a great feeling when he had helped calm him down. No other pet could calm him down the way Vinnie did, what they had was special.

The memory replayed in Vinnie's head as he lay wide awake. They often cuddled, usually when they watched horror movies and got a little too into them, or sometimes during their random naps just for the sake of being with each other. Vinnie never took that as a sign the feelings he had for Sunil were mutual at all, he never took anything that way, because the chances of that? Extremely unlikely.

_Why would someone as great as him like me..?_

Self doubt was never something that got in the way for Vinnie. He knew he wasn't the brightest gecko in the world, but he had always been confident in his own abilities and wasn't afraid to get back up again when he was knocked down. It was just when it came to things like this that it all bottled up and turned into a little spark of self-hatred. Having told no one about his sexuality or his massive crush on Sunil only helped bottle things in more.

 _Maybe I'll tell someone one day..._ Vinnie thought, slowly closing his eyes, just before opening them suddenly and feeling a rush of panic rush through his whole body. _Or maybe never. I'll never tell anyone. Or he'll find out, everyone will find out, and then no one will like me._


	2. Chapter 2

Vinnie got to day-camp early. The only two pets there so far were Minka and, of course, Russell. Russell always arrived early, so that was no surprise, and Minka's owners had to go into work a little earlier as she had explained. Now, though, Russell was telling Minka off for already making a mess of the day-camp having only been there for about 10 minutes, and Vinnie was waiting anxiously for the rest of the pets to arrive so they could get the day started. He redirected his attention to Russell and Minka, entertained now, as they stood squabbling in front of Minka's painting equipment.

"Minka, I don't think now is a great time to paint."

"Why not?"

"Well..." It was very well known that Minka had moments, sometimes days, where she was extra hyperactive. This morning was unfortunately one of those moments, hence the mess of the camp and Russell’s stressed expression.

"It's because... I need you to do something for me."

"And what might that be?" Minka raised a curious eyebrow at the ruffled hedgehog.

"You, uh, need to help me organise the squeaky toys." It sounded like he was making it up on the spot, even Vinnie picked it up, but Minka still listened in, oblivious to it.

"But you already organised them yesterday."

"Well... Yes, yes I did. But I need you to... Un-organise them. So I have something to re-organise." Russell is some sort of genius. Risking his own work to save the rest of the pet shop in a plan he came up with on the spot, something Vinnie couldn't do. There's a reason Russell’s in charge, and to be completely honest Vinnie valued having someone in charge who was in control of everything, but he did wish Russell would loosen up once and awhile.

The rest of the pets came running through the door on their normal arrival times, with Sunil coming last. Vinnie sat up and smiled instantly, resisting the urge to call Sunil’s name from across the day-camp. He instead ran up and Sunil greeted him with a smile

“Hey Sunil~,” Vinnie said slyly, playing it cool as a joke which Sunil always found funny.

Sunil giggled, “Hello Vinnie. How long have you been here?”

His giggle made Vinnie’s heart skip a beat and he almost struggled to reply.

“‘Was one of the first ones today, actually.”

Sunil gasped, smiling. “Not before Russell?”  
His smile sent the butterflies in his stomach fluttering. The struggle to reply came again.

“Nah, don’t think that’s possible.”

“Hmm. I am sure if you tried hard enough you could get here before him.”

“Yeah, but who would want to get up _that early_ just to get here?”   
Sunil covered his smile with his paw and let out a little giggle once again, “Fair point, my friend. Why were you so early today?” Vinnie looked away from Sunil’s beautiful golden gaze and shrugged, “I dunno. I woke up early or somethin’.”

Truth is, he wanted to get up early just to get there. He knew Sunil wouldn’t be one of the first to arrive, which is why he enjoyed the prep before he got there. He got to be in the environment with the few that were there already without stressing about Sunil too much, but preparing to do so.

“How are you feeling today, by the way?” Vinnie then asked him, remembering the off day Sunil had the day before. Sunil gave a small smile and fiddled with his fingers nervously. “Alright now, thanks to you. I am really grateful to have you, Vinnie.” Vinnie stared at him for a few moments with wide eyes.

_Oh wow._

He felt his face heating a little and he cleared his throat, “Hey, anything for you.” 

Sunil gave him a different type of smile this time; One that spoke a thousand words of gratitude and love to him. Vinnie struggled to tear his gaze away from that smile.

_Today is going to be hard._

“Come _on_ \- _Oof!_ ”

Vinnie hit the ground with a hard thud, music still playing in the background. The rest of the pets were all off doing their own thing, with a just a few of them talking to each other occasionally. Vinnie was practicing his dancing, as he usually would, but it wasn’t going great. Not just because he had a lot on his mind and he hadn’t been dancing properly for a while because of that, it was also because he was trying too hard. He began getting frustrated with the way he was performing so much that he decided to push himself extremely hard, which wasn’t working. He had tripped over his tail and landed on the ground, and at this point he was too fed up to get back up, so he lay there for a few moments. He was too busy cursing to himself to notice the approaching footsteps of another pet until they walked right up to his face, and his heart skipped a beat in panic.

“Are you alright down there?”

The accent was as strong and heart-melting as ever, and Vinnie almost zoned out thinking about it before he realised that he was standing _right in front of him._

Exhausted, he simply replied, “Yeah, Sunil. I’m fine.”

Sunil kneeled down and held out a paw, “I am afraid it does not look like that.”

Vinnie waited a second, processing, before he took Sunil’s paw and rose to his feet. He dusted himself off and sighed. “What’s up?”

“Well…” Sunil fiddled with his fingers once more. “I want you to teach me how to dance.”

Vinnie stared at him, wondering genuinely if he had him heard right. “What?”

“I want you to teach me how to dance.”

“I-I heard you the first time Sunil, it’s just… I’m no good.” 

Sunil looked at him, astonished. His astonishment lasted a few mere seconds before it turned into annoyance, “What kind of nonsense is _that_? You are the best dancer I have ever seen, Vinnie. You have really improved.” 

“Yeah, but _recently_ I-” He stopped in his tracks, realising he was taking it out on Sunil for no reason. He had done nothing… It wasn’t his fault that he was so lovable. “...Okay. Okay.”

“Okay?” Sunil asked, an eyebrow raised with a slight head tilt as a cute addition. 

“Okay,” Vinnie repeated. “I’ll teach you.” 

Sunil’s face lit up instantly, and it made Vinnie feel the best he had felt in weeks. Seeing Sunil’s eyes bright and his smile wide because Vinnie granted him permission to spend time being _extra close_ together, something he often day-dreamed about having. It was as if he was stuck in one of those day-dreams.

“Great! When do we start?” Sunil rubbed his paws together enthusiastically.

Vinnie thought for a few moments about his constant frustration at himself for not being able to get any of his best moves right. Dancing with Sunil would obviously cheer him up… And they’d be able to do easier styles of dancing…

“Right now.”

“Oh! Only if I am not interrupting anything.” He gestured to the CD player, still playing the music that Vinnie was trying to dance to before. It was a but more of a classical, soft song. Vinnie thought that if he had tried to practice various different types of dancing it’d help him decide which to focus on. Slightly embarrassed, recalling now that Sunil would have seen him stumble, he quickly turned the song off and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. 

“It’s nothing. Do you have any particular styles of dancing you wanna learn?” 

Sunil thought for a moment, looking around the room as he did so. He paused for a few moments, before shrugging and making direct eye contact with Vinnie. 

“Nothing really that I can think of. Up to you.” 

_Jeez, no pressure._

There were so many different types of dancing to choose from. He needed something easy, maybe something they could do together to give Sunil a bit more confidence, something that wouldn’t have Vinnie taking total control and giving Sunil the task of simply copying, which absolutely isn’t what dancing is all about. Dancing is about _feeling_ the music, it’s about communication, it’s about a perfect balance between dependence _and_ independence. It’s about showcasing certain feelings and emotions through movement and music. It’s a language of love.

“Slow dancing.” 

“Slow dancing?”

_Slow dancing?! What am I thinking?!_

“Yes, slow dancing. It’s easy and it’s something we can do together.”

Vinnie watched Sunil, anxiety crawling through his whole body, as he waited for his reply. He stood straight and tried his best to appear confident and sure of what he had just said, but to be completely honest, he had no idea what happened.

_This was a bad idea._

“Brilliant idea, Vinnie!” 

“What?” Vinnie said, bewildered, though part of him felt that would have been better said in his head rather than out loud.

“I have seen people slow dance before, it looks good for beginners like me. And I will enjoy dancing with you.”

Vinnie held in a sigh of relief as his body relaxed and he smiled. 

“Cool. Great. I’ll try get the tracks up ‘n’ running, then we can start, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Sunil gave Vinnie a smile before he turned and walked over to the CD player, taking out the already playing CD and putting it in his CD case. He had CDs for almost every kind of dancing, he had been practicing a lot of different types and needless to say he _had_ improved, up until recently.

_Let’s just hope I don't screw this up._

“Hey Vinnie?” Sunil asked him, coming up a little closer from behind as Vinnie continued to look for the right disc. 

“What’s up bud?” Vinnie replied, still pretty much fully focused on his current mission.

“Is there a reason that you have been doubting your dancing abilities a lot recently?” 

Vinnie’s body bounced slightly with delight upon finding the disc finally, and he placed it into the CD player. Pressing play, he turned back around to Sunil. 

“Nah,” He simply replied, taking his friends’ paws without hesitation. He had gotten extremely good at hiding his nervousness around Sunil, and considering he had proposed the idea that the two practice slow dancing, he had to stay confident.

“Vinnie, you know that I can tell when you are lying.” 

Vinnie shrugged, “Can’t dance.”

“But-”

“Enough chatter Sunil, you still wanna learn how to dance?”

Sunil shut his mouth and nodded silently. The conversation had been dropped. 

“Okay. I’m gonna teach ya. Right now.”

Vinnie paused and waited for some sort of clarification to continue the lesson when Sunil interrupted him with a question. 

“I hope you do not mind me asking, but, what do I do?”

Vinnie laughed. “Right. You put one of your paws around my waist…”

Sunil did so, and Vinnie tried not to show any signs of affection towards the sudden touch.

“Good. And I’ll put my hand…” 

Vinnie reached up and put his hand onto Sunil’s shoulder. It was a fair distance, considering the height difference between the two, which caused Vinnie to have to move closer to him. It was a nice height difference though. Vinnie was just at the perfect level to be able to rest his head on Sunil’s furry chest, to cuddle under his chin…

“Okay. Now, we put our hands together…” He lifted up his free hand and held it up. Sunil waited a heartbeat, before smiling slightly and entwining his hand with Vinnie’s. Vinnie felt his heart jump and do a little dance of its own but pushed it aside. “Great. This is perfect.”

“Now what do we do?” Sunil asked, his golden eyes shining with eagerness. Vinnie’s heart swelled with both pride and love towards his friends’ passion to learn and how obviously displayed it was in his expression. 

He smiled. “We dance.”

“I do not want to ruin your moment, but…” Sunil began, looking a little unsure now. “I feel as though I have a lot of control over us right now. I am not meant to lead, am I?” 

Vinnie shook his head slightly in a joking manner. “Sunil, hate to break it to ya but you’ve got the guy part. You’re leading me.” 

“What?! Why do _I_ have to lead? I am merely a student.”

“You’re taller, it’s easy and I have confidence in you.”

“How is this easy? This is my first time.”

“Calm down Sunil,” Vinnie began, picking up on Sunil’s sudden panic. He knew it was going to be fine. He knew Sunil had the rhythm. “All you have to do is move your feet to the song, okay? Just like you’ve seen other people do. I’ll follow you.”

“What if I mess up and we fall?” Sunil looked at him with wide, worried eyes.

“We won’t,” Vinnie gave him a reassuring nod. “You got this.”

Sunil still looked a little uncertain, but he returned the nod, waiting a moment before taking small steps across the floor in time to the music. Vinnie followed along with ease, smiling.

“Sunil, try making your steps a lil bigger.”

Sunil mumbled acknowledgement, and took an extra large step which sent Vinnie stumbling. He grabbed a stronger hold of Sunil, laughing, as he then picked himself up. Sunil gave him a slight laugh followed by a wide smile. 

“Not what I meant,” Vinnie then said, still chuckling lightly. Sunil gave him a playful shrug and continued in regular sized steps. He was right, Sunil had great rhythm, and he knew it would be easy for him to pick up the theme of simply going with how the song feels. There was a certain gentleness in the way Sunil moved. He was cautious, but Vinnie saw the determination in the heart of his movements. He stared lovingly at his friend, who was too busy looking down at their feet to notice. Sunil’s tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he focused hard on getting the steps right and not tripping on Vinnie, and Vinnie couldn’t help but grin. 

“Sunil.”  
Sunil’s eyes darted back up to Vinnie’s in an instant and his ears pricked up ever so slightly.

“Eyes up here.” 

Sunil’s gaze warmed a little as he stared into Vinnie’s eyes, still keeping the rhythm of their movement. He was doing incredible. Staring back into Sunil’s eyes, he felt as if the rest of the world didn’t exist. It was just him and his best friend together, slow dancing like nothing else mattered. They had each other, and that was all they needed.

“Don’t be afraid to move a little more. We’ve got all this space, might as well use it.” 

Sunil took his advice and took a few larger steps, steering them around a little more, almost spinning them. Vinnie pictured some of his favorite performances and recalled a few moves that they could try with. He was afraid Sunil would get bored.

“On three, you spin me, okay?” 

Sunil tensed up a little but nodded silently, not wanting to break what they had going. Vinnie counted to three, and Sunil pushed out with his arm, guiding Vinnie with it. Vinnie went out, still holding onto Sunil’s paw tightly, and spun his body in a dramatic fashion. He then spun back around, facing away from Sunil now as their arms tangled together.

“Vinnie, you are kind of in an odd position,” Sunil mumbled quietly, continuing the steps but with more obvious hesitation.

“All part of the plan,” Vinnie replied, turning his head slightly to give Sunil a friendly wink. 

Vinnie counted down to three again, and Sunil threw him out, Vinnie giving another twirl and landing back into their original position. “Perfect Sunil! You’re a natural.”

Sunil’s face flushed slightly as he perked up, “I am?” 

“You are,” Vinnie said proudly. “Keep it up. You wanna try a dip?” 

Sunil, obviously more confident in his abilities now, nodded eagerly.

“I won’t give you the signal this time. Do it when you wanna.” 

And they kept dancing. It was just as beautiful and smooth as before, though Vinnie still felt the hint of hesitation in Sunil’s steps as he decided when would be a good time to attempt a dip. He watched Sunil’s focused face, staring into his distracted eyes until Sunil noticed and looked up at him. Vinnie’s eyes quickly darted away and they continued to dance, until suddenly Vinnie felt Sunil’s arms start to lower a little. Instantly, Vinnie reacted in a dip, and Sunil smoothly pulled him back up into their original position. Vinnie smiled, though Sunil still was looking down at their feet.

“Sunil.”  
Sunil’s eyes shot up once again. “Sorry Vinnie, it is just… How do you follow my steps so quickly and with such certainty?” 

Vinnie gave him a shrug and looked down at their still moving feet, “I dunno. Maybe it’s ‘cause when two people dance their souls like… connect. And it works.” It was either that, the fact that Sunil naturally guided Vinnie in the direction they were moving due to the direction in which his arms started to push, or just Vinnie’s incredible reflexes.

“I see it.”

“What?” Their eyes locked and Vinnie felt a weird sort of subtle stress arise.

“I see it. In your eyes.” Sunil smiled sweetly at him.

_Oh no._

_I need to say something but I don’t know what to say._

He tried to speak but nothing came out. He was speechless. 

And all of a sudden, Vinnie stumbled on his feet and pushed Sunil slightly forward, watching in horror as Sunil’s feet stepped on his own tail and he fell backwards, bringing Vinnie down with him. It’s not as if this didn’t happen often, but Vinnie felt extremely awkward for causing it at a bad time. He landed on Sunil’s stomach, as per usual, and thought silently about how grateful he was that he’s light. 

“Sorry Sunil, been a while since I’ve stumbled that bad.” Vinnie got off of him and awkwardly offered him a hand up. Sunil took it gladly, dusting himself off. 

“It is nothing my good friend. It happens.” He shrugged.

“Reckon that's enough dancing for the day?” Vinnie prayed the answer to that was yes. He didn’t know how much more touchy time with Sunil he could handle for the day before he exploded. 

“Sure. Only if you know that this is not over and I want to learn more from you. You are an excellent teacher.”

Vinnie blushed and laughed nervously, “Heh. Thanks. Let’s go grab some lunch and then chill out for a bit. Maybe you can show me some of your magic tricks.”

_I can’t believe that happened._

Vinnie forced his eyes shut and thought hard.

_I slow danced with Sunil._

It was now a little later in the afternoon. Sunil had gone home, along with a few of the others, and Vinnie was using this spare time to ponder by himself in the fire hydrant. He couldn’t believe the day he had just had. As if him and Sunil couldn’t get _any_ closer. 

Vinnie fiddled with his fingers awkwardly. _What did he see in my eyes? Am I that obvious? Did I see the same thing in his eyes, or was I dreaming?_

His face started to heat as he thought of their hands entwined and their bodies so close, staring into each other’s eyes from only a small length away. The slight caution in Sunil’s steps, his eagerness to learn shown in his bright smile, the gentleness of his touch on Vinnie’s hip. All of it was so bizarre, Vinnie genuinely couldn’t believed it had happened.

_And he wants to keep doing it with me._

“Ah Vinnie, there you are! I was wondering if you were still here. I knew I couldn’t have missed you.”

Vinnie was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the footsteps of another pet coming up the slide. He relaxed a little, taking a breath to try and recollect himself.

“What’s up Russell?” He asked calmly.

“I wanted to talk to you about something actually,” Russell replied, creeping more into the fire hydrant and sitting down in front of him. Vinnie’s heart jumped anxiously, and he suddenly felt a weird prickling sensation under his skin. 

“And what’s that?” Vinnie said, trying his hardest to keep his voice sound even. 

“Well… I, uh, saw you and Sunil dancing together today.” 

Vinnie stiffened a little. It was no surprise that he saw them, anyone in the day-camp could have considering they were out in the open. It wasn't necessarily a secret either, but the way Russell was bringing it up now in such an intimate area and so quietly sent shivers down his spine. 

“Mhm.” Vinnie dipped his head a little, curious and scared to see where the conversation was going to end up, though trying his best to seem almost uninterested. 

“You two have been really close lately.” 

His heart skipped a beat. “Yeah.”

There was an awkward pause. It was obvious Russell was expecting him to say more. 

“I mean like, closer than usual.”

“Mhm.” By this point his heart was pounding so loudly in his chest he was afraid Russell could hear it, but he just simply sighed and continued. 

“Y’know, you haven’t been yourself lately. You just seem so… separated from us sometimes. It looks like you’ve got a lot going on in your head, Vinnie.”

He was right. He was absolutely right, and Vinnie didn’t know how to react to it. He simply stared up at Russell with wide eyes, saying absolutely nothing. Russell bit his lip.

“...Is it Sunil?”

And there it is. 

He really didn’t know how to react now. He felt his face heat up and he redirected his gaze from Russell to the floor guiltily. After months of hiding it, it was finally coming out, and Vinnie didn’t know what to do. 

“Vinnie…” Russell’s soft and concerned voice was enough to make him start to suddenly tear up. He didn’t cry often, let alone in front of Russell, and he didn’t want to now. But he couldn’t help it. Very quickly, long streams of gentle tears were running down his face. He lifted a hand up to rub away his tears desperately, embarrassed at his sudden outburst.

“Hey, Vinnie, it’s alright.” Russell came closer to him and rubbed his arm reassuringly. Vinnie sniffled a little, continuing to wipe away his tears. 

Still rubbing Vinnie’s arm, Russell spoke again, but this time it was barely a whisper. “Are you really…?” 

“Yes, Russell, I’m gay... And that’s the first time I’ve ever said it out loud.” He sniffled louder. He finally said it to someone and everything felt out of order. It felt like the world was going to collapse in on itself. Now someone knew… it was only a matter of time before it caught onto the others. 

Russell watched with sympathy as Vinnie continued to cry, unsure of how to stop himself. “Shh, let it all out. You need this.” Was all he said. They sat in silence for a few minutes as Vinnie calmed himself down, taking deep breaths and wiping his tears gently, trying to focus on the soft motion of Russell’s hand against his arm. He knew now why it helped Sunil so much. 

“So… Is this what’s been going on up there all along?” Russell asked him.

Vinnie, still so shaken that he could hardly speak, simply nodded in reply. 

“...Even the Sunil part?”

“ _Yes,_ even the Sunil part Russell. That’s the worst part.” And the most part, too. Vinnie spent more time thinking about how bad it was that he was so deeply in love with his best friend than the fact that he was actually gay. Both still troubled him greatly. It’s not as if the pets hated people like Vinnie, in fact they were probably the most supportive group he had ever seen, but he knew everything would be weird and different if they found out. Which is why he had planned on never telling anyone, but now Russell knew.

Russell knew.

He suddenly sat up and grabbed both of Russell’s arms tightly, fear rushing through his whole body. “Please don’t tell anyone. Please.”

Russell, completely taken aback by Vinnie’s sudden rush of energy, stared back at him for a few seconds before replying with, “I wasn’t planning on it.”

Okay, so maybe Vinnie was becoming a little paranoid.

He let go of Russell and slouched back down, and suddenly he felt almost numb. _Probably from all of the crying_. 

“How long have you known?” 

Vinnie stared up at him seriously. “Months.” 

“Oh…” 

There was silence again. Vinnie didn’t really mind it, it wasn’t awkward. It was just both of the boys’ minds trying to process everything. 

“And how long have _you_ known?” He asked Russell.

“What?”

“How long have you known I was… y’know, gay.” He was scared of the answer. If Russell had suspicions, who knew who else would.

“Well, I didn’t _know_ until now, obviously. But I guess I just pieced it together. You two have always been unusually close.” 

Vinnie sighed and crossed his arms, leaning back against the wall of the fire hydrant comfortably. He almost forgot that Russell also knew Sunil was involved in this. “I guess.” 

“What do you mean you ‘guess’?” Russell sounded genuinely surprised. “You should be saying, ‘yeah, we are’, because you really, really are. Like, you two are _so_ close-”

“I get it,” Vinnie snapped. 

“...Oh. You shouldn’t doubt Sunil’s feelings for you, Vinnie. He really enjoyed dancing with you today.”

“Doesn’t mean anything.” Vinnie turned his head away from Russell. He didn’t want to talk about it _that_ much. He had already said enough for one day, and he was starting to get a headache. His mind was still trying to wrap itself around the idea that now someone else knew his biggest secret, something he had kept inside for months, and seen him cry over it.

“Right, sorry. This is a big moment for you, I get that. I should stop asking questions.”

There was another moment of silence, but some sort of weird Russell-specific tension filled the air. It took Vinnie a moment to realise that Russell was still bursting with questions. It was justified, considering this was Russell’s first encounter with a situation like this, but Vinnie honestly wanted the conversation to be over. Everything felt like a mess. But he didn’t know what he was going to do when it was done, which partially caused him to want the conversation to never end. He simply raised his eyebrows at him. 

“Okay, one more for now, sorry. Have you thought about telling anyone else?”

Vinnie shrugged. He had always pushed aside the thought of having to tell people. That was one of the worst things about being different. He had to make it apparent eventually, and then nothing would be the same. It was unavoidable. “Dunno.”  
“Not even Sunil?”

Vinnie stared at Russell as if he had just said the most obviously dumb thing he had ever heard. To be fair, he really had. “As _if_ Russell. _He’s_ the problem.”

“I feel like you should consider it.”

“Psht, yeah, right.” Vinnie dismissed the idea instantly. Why would he tell Sunil? He didn’t want to tell anyone, let alone his best friend and current occupant of every one of his waking thoughts. If telling people made things weird normally… He could imagine how broken their friendship would become. It would be made obvious to Sunil that Vinnie had strong feelings for him, and then who knows? Their friendship could be over.

“...Do you want to talk about anything else?” Russell asked.

Vinnie was tired. He was tired physically, he was tired of talking to people, and he was tired of himself. _Why does being gay have to be a whole thing that just ruins everything?_

“Not right now. I… I just need some time to think.” 

“I understand. Hey, you can talk to me whenever, okay? I know you don’t really talk about your feelings, but… I’m here.”

 _And you’re really the only thing I have,_ Vinnie thought. He didn’t dare say it though. He just looked up at Russell and smiled, “Thanks.” 

Russell returned the smile, before turning and heading out of the fire-hydrant slowly.

_Great._

Vinnie ran his fingers through his hair worriedly. It was finally settling in that everything was going to be different now. He could talk to someone about it. The temptation was there, and it was strong. He got an urge to call Russell back and talk to him more, but he knew he needed time. He was going through a lot of emotions very, very quickly, and his raging headache wasn’t helping it either. 

Not only did Russell know he was gay, he also knew that he had a mad crush on Sunil. 

_This is absolutely fantastic._

Vinnie couldn’t treasure moments with Sunil anymore with the thought that someone could be watching them, and they would _know._ He suddenly felt embarrassed at the fact that he had danced with Sunil in the middle of the day-camp. But, on the plus side, maybe Russell could find out things he didn’t…

_Who am I kidding? Sunil doesn’t like me. I made a big mistake._

Vinnie honestly wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and hide under the covers for the rest of his life.


End file.
